"Firstly, crap happens dad, brother set fire to the kitchen..."

Yikes, that was sooo close. Lucky my bro put out the fire before it spread past the better half of the stove top, but not before smoke enveloped the kitchen and moved into my brother's room. Had to shut the kitchen door, luckily the bathroom door was closed. My bedroom and my parents' room also enveloped with smoke. Had to open all possible windows and turn on air conditioners and fan to get rid of smoke.
Just finished wiping clean areas with bits of fine soot. My bro used Jif to wipe out the smoke stains from the wall and the glasses cupboard. Wall behind stove and next to cupboard now strangely white in comparison to the rest of the cream coloured kitchen *rolls eyes*. Stovetop however doomed due to obviously burnt and melted switches. I think the oil was burnt and somehow (I don't know) caught fire. I ain't telling my parents, crap we'd be dead. Apparently we need to get a new stovetop switchboard before dad comes back to Sydney or any family members find out. (Ha!) All in all, got a lot of washing up to do, plate-wise and sheets and clothing-wise.
*sigh* good to be alive, had be concerned there a bit, I never knew I was so fast on my feet in an emergency.